How Do I Get the Desires of My Heart?
February 2024 Newsletter
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4 NASB (emphasis added)
Thoughts to Ponder
I knew what I wanted, and I thought I knew best. I held my dreams tightly in my clenched fist, clinging to what I thought made the most sense for my life. I prayed and prayed for the path I envisioned to come to fruition.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t. The dreams and plans I pictured evaporated, leaving me with a lot of questions, and an answer I didn’t want.
Even now, I can quickly recall numerous times in my life where this exact scenario played out—my desperate prayers for control, begging the Lord to give me the desires of my heart, because my desires made sense to me. My plan had to be the best plan.
Another spoiler alert: what I thought was best, was not God’s best.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: I firmly believe that the Lord will persistently bring our heart issues to the forefront of our lives, not to punish us, but so that we can work through them and find freedom from them. We go through trials to become closer to the Lord and to conquer areas of weakness that He knows are hindering us. He doesn’t want us to continually struggle with the same internal issue over and over.
It’s painful and embarrassing to admit, but I struggle with wanting to control my life. I think I know best and my plans make sense to me, so therefore life should go that way. It’s ironic really, because as a military wife, I truly have very little control over anything, including the ability to even talk to my husband on the phone during the day because the building he works in doesn’t allow cell phones.
Logically, I knew I wasn’t in control, yet I still sought it at every opportunity. I would become frustrated when my will, and my way, didn’t seem to line up with God’s will and His way. I claimed to be wanting what the Lord wanted, yet most of my prayers were more about what I wanted, instead of asking what the Lord desired for me.
All of that changed when I started to pray a line from the Lord’s Prayer: Your will be done.
My mindset didn’t change immediately, but as I continued to pray this prayer over more and more areas of my life, my perspective started to shift. It became easier to open my clenched fists and with shaky hands, begin to ask the Lord what He wanted for my life, and to soften my heart to whatever lay ahead.
I used to love this verse found in Psalm 37, but for the wrong reasons. I focused more on the latter part of the verse, instead of the former:
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NASB
I used to think that as long as the desires of my heart were “good”, God would surely give them to me. As I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve come to realize that my “good” isn’t always the same as God’s “good”, despite my selfish insistence that I know better.
When I began focusing on the beginning of this verse, that’s when my mindset really began to change. I started to prioritize delighting in the Lord instead of focusing on my own wants. Initially I wasn’t sure how to “delight” in the Lord, but with time and prayer I began to see how “delighting” really just meant spending time with Him, and seeking to be more like Him in my daily life.
Here are a few practical ways to “delight” in the Lord:
Read the Bible. Even reading a verse or two per day, first thing in the morning, helps keep me close to Him.
Prayer. Praying in all circumstances, and over every decision, helps keep my focus on the Lord instead of myself.
Serving. We are called to serve one another, which aligns our hearts with how Jesus lived. This can be as simple as bringing a new mom a meal, helping out in your local church, or offering words of encouragement to a friend.
Seeking Wise Counsel. When tough situations arise, instead of complaining or venting, I try to be intentional about who I choose to ask for advice and who I confide in.
The more I do these things on a daily basis, the more I notice that what I desire changes, sometimes to the point of surprising myself. My prayers began to change from “Lord, I want this…” to “Lord, show me what You want for me…” Simply put, the desires of my heart began to align with His desires for my life.
There is no better place to be than in God’s will, but sometimes it takes a mindset shift to get there. Instead of resisting His will because we think we know better, or because we’re fearful of what He will ask us to do, it is easier, and more peaceful, to lean into His presence and seek Him in our everyday moments. As we delight in Him daily, our hearts begin to shift, and so do the desires of our hearts, so that when He calls us to His will and His plan for us, it is something that we desire, too.
What I’m Reading
My good friend sends me books in the mail—one of the best kinds of friends!—and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed The Housemaid and The Housemaid’s Secret by Freida McFadden. Psychological thrillers aren’t my usual genre (I’m not a fan of scary books or movies at baseline), but these read as less-scary and more mystery/suspense to me. They were quick reads which was also nice. I passed them along to my sister, who is also enjoying them!
I’m also reading Remaining You While Raising Them by Alli Worthington, a book on remaining yourself in motherhood. I’m not very far into it, and it’s starting off a little slow, but I’m hopeful it’ll pick up as I dig deeper into it.
What I’m Writing
Writing has slowed recently in preparation for our second baby’s arrival (I’m 37 weeks today!). I’m working on a few articles that I plan to submit for publication. I recently wrote a handful of query letters to literary agents and am waiting on their responses.
What I’m (Kind Of) Cooking
For full transparency, I’m writing this section while a pre-made oven-ready meal is baking… Once again, a lot of cooking isn’t happening in my house right now. Part of me feels guilty, but part of me is also extending myself grace. It’s really hard to cook when I’m still throwing up on a somewhat-regular basis at 37 weeks pregnant.
I am proud to say that I did get my act together enough to make breakfast for my church’s production/worship team a few weeks ago!
My husband serves on our church’s production team (he runs one of the cameras almost every week), and the production and worship teams get to the church by 7:30am to prepare for our two services. As a way to serve the production and worship teams, our church has a rotating schedule to provide breakfast for them on Sunday mornings. It’s not a huge commitment—I provide breakfast once every three months on a rotating schedule—but it’s a great way to serve those who serve the rest of the church so faithfully.
My husband said they get a lot of donuts, breakfast casseroles, and breakfast sandwiches, so I googled “easy breakfast recipes” and was pleasantly surprised to see a few options for slow-cooker oatmeal! I decided to bring an oatmeal bar, complete with toppings so everyone could make their own oatmeal bowl.
I didn’t test-run this recipe in advance (oops) and I was a little worried it might be terrible, so I bought a pre-made breakfast casserole from our local bakery to have as another option in addition to the oatmeal. Thankfully, my husband said both the casserole and oatmeal bar were big hits!
A warning when making the oatmeal: if you attempt to double it, which I did, it will overflow your standard-sized crockpot… Oops. Thankfully I was able to catch it before it spilled over too much and made a giant mess. The amounts listed below are not doubled, haha.
If you are in the FL panhandle and want to try the breakfast casserole, check out Navarre Bakery & Creamery. I’m there way too often, but it’s so delicious that it’s hard to pass up when it’s only eight minutes from my house.
Slow Cooker Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal
(original recipe link here)
Ingredients:
2 cups regular steel-cut oats
4 cups of water
3 cups of milk (I used whole milk because that’s what my toddler drinks, and all that I had in the house)
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
Toppings: blueberries, granola, brown sugar, maple syrup, honey, strawberries, bananas, chopped walnuts, chopped pecans (basically, any topping you’d like!)
Directions:
Grease the crockpot with butter or cooking spray. Mix all the ingredients (minus the toppings) into the crockpot, stir and combine well. Cook on low for 8 hours, or cook on high for 3-4 hours.
Serve with toppings for an easy make-your-own-oatmeal-bowl bar!
PS - Do you serve occasionally, or regularly, at your church? About a year ago I really felt the Lord calling me to serve at our church, and let me tell you—serving in our church has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.
Initially I was a bit resistant to serve, with all the excuses: I’m too busy, I’m too tired, I have a toddler at home, I didn’t want to “give up” part of my weekend, I didn’t have time, someone else can serve, etc. Those are embarrassing excuses to admit, but those were the thoughts that initially swirled through my mind. But the nudging to serve persisted, and so I nervously inquired about serving opportunities.
Fast-forward, and now serving at our church is one of the things I look forward to the most every week.
I serve almost weekly on our guest services team (aka I hold doors and smile when people come into the church), I lead one of the Women’s Bible studies, I make breakfast for the production/worship teams once per quarter, and I try to serve when other one-time opportunities come up (like when my Bible study provided dinner for our youth group). I don’t share this to brag, but to encourage you to get involved—it takes a lot less time and energy to serve than you think.
You also don’t have to serve everywhere all at once. I started out with only serving on the guest services team, which takes an hour from start to finish, and it’s only once per week. As I got comfortable serving in that area, I decided to join the production/worship breakfast team. Preparing breakfast once per quarter takes less than an hour of prep work. I was humbled and honored when I was asked to lead one of the women’s Bible studies, and while it does take more prep work, the hidden gem is that doing the prep work requires me to prioritize spending time with the Lord. I absolutely love serving now, and I think you will too if you don’t already!
Spending time with like-minded believers and serving has blessed me more than any time or energy I “give up” by doing so. Our culture will tell us we’re “too busy” to serve, but let me tell you—it’s not a matter of being “too busy”, but rather an issue of priority. When I closely looked at my schedule before adding on another serving commitment, I realized I could eliminate pointless activities, or rearrange a few things to make it happen.
To live as Jesus did is upside down, countercultural, and backwards, which includes serving. To serve without recognition, pay, or praise is mind-boggling to our prideful society, and therefore is often overlooked, belittled, or undervalued. It might not make sense on paper, but humbly serving will bring deeper peace and joy to our lives more than anything our society tells us we will “give up” by spending time on serving.
Let’s Connect!
Thanks for reading my newsletter! Feel free to forward this email along to anyone who might enjoy it. My hope is to encourage you in your everyday faith and to share the joys and trials of life and motherhood. We’re all in this together.
—Kristin