I Can't Do It All.

September 2024 Newsletter

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 NIV (emphasis added)

---

Thoughts to Ponder

Being a mom is really hard.

I’m not sure how many moms feel this way, or how many of us talk about it. It feels wrong, shameful, and embarrassing to say that motherhood is hard, especially when our children were desired and prayed for.

Motherhood is especially hard when we try to do it all on our own. It’s hard when we try to tackle motherhood without any help. We juggle babies and diaper bags and school drop off and extracurriculars and cooking and cleaning and doctor’s appointments and laundry (so much laundry) and bedtime routines and sippy cup struggles and tantrums and homework frustrations and sleepless nights like we have a million hands—except we don’t have a million hands. We likely only have one hand because the other hand is holding a fussy baby. Or even worse, we have no hands because we have a baby in one, are tending to the toddler in the other, and have resorted to using a foot to pick things up.

We need hands in motherhood. Lots of them. This was recently highlighted to me when I told our three-year-old that I couldn’t build a block tower while I was nursing the baby. Her response? “Yes you can, mommy. Just use your foot.” Apparently, she’s watched me use my feet so much lately that it’s just assumed I can do all of the things with my feet. I recently vented to my my husband about my current lack-of-hands situation: “I just want to get some stuff done with two hands. I’m tired of doing everything one-handed.” I’m basically a pro-juggler at this point, and while that is a necessary skill for motherhood at times (hello, night flights and 14+ hour work days in our military world), it doesn’t have to be my default setting, and nor should it be.

There’s another option. The other option is to humble myself and ask for help.

It’s really hard to ask for help, because we feel like we shouldn’t—these are our children and we need to take care of them, no one else. It’s our home, it’s our job to run it. Also, who do we even ask to help us, especially if we don’t have family nearby? It’s really hard to make mom friends, because who has time to make a friend when I can’t even find time to take a shower? Who has time to invest in relationships when I can barely get dinner on the table most nights?

I claim I don’t have the time to make deep, meaningful mom friends, but when I give an honest look at my schedule, I have time to take my kids to the playground, time for social media, time for watching TV some evenings, etc. What would happen if I opened up those activities to other moms? What if I invited another mom and her kids to meet me at the playground? What if I texted some friends to catch up instead of scrolling? What if I asked another mom to go for a walk instead of binging Netflix?

Do you know what would likely happen? I’d start to have a mom village. Extra hands, extra hearts. Not only would I get some desperately needed help, but I can also offer a helping hand, too. Ironically, I would prefer to offer to help someone vs accepting help, and I think that’s true for most of us. Society screams for moms to do it all on our own and be supermom, but all that does is leave us frustrated, resentful, overwhelmed, and tired. We plaster on a smile and pride ourselves in doing it all on our own, yet we’re silently drowning on the inside, desperate for a moment to catch our breath.

As we prepared to move across the country, one of my biggest prayers was to find solid community—deep friendships where we can do life together and help each other. To have that depth of community requires time, vulnerability, and effort, but it is more than worth it. I’m not sure I would have survived this cross-country move without the people who rallied around us and helped us out in more ways than I can count.

It’s hard to ask for help. It’s hard to admit I can’t do it all. It’s hard to open myself up and be vulnerable with others. But do you know what’s even harder? Struggling to do it all on my own and silently drowning each day, boiling with frustration and resentment.

Invest in others, deepen friendships, build your community and mom village. It will be one of the biggest blessings of your life.

---

What I’m Reading

Reading significantly slowed while we moved across the country, but I am back into reading more consistently again! I also just started a monthly book club for our squadron, so I’m excited to participate in that.

I recently finished The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. This book was hyped up all over the book-internet-world awhile ago, so my expectations were probably unrealistically too high—it didn’t captivate my attention as much as I thought it would. Overall it was a good read, and I did enjoy the ending more than I expected. I’d rate it 3.5/5 stars.

I’m currently reading The Women by Kristin Hannah. I have loved some of her books (The Nightingale, The Winter Garden, The Great Alone), and absolutely hated others (Firefly Lane, Fly Away, The Four Winds), so I was a bit leery about starting this one, especially since it’s been raved about. However, it’s started off strong and I’m hopeful it’ll continue that way.

---

What I’m Writing

I’ve had a few essays and articles published recently! You can check them out here:

Making New Friends as a Mom is Really Hard — published by Her View From Home

Red Light, Green Light — published by Coffee + Crumbs

I also shared about Why I Couldn’t Write this summer.

I have a few more articles being published in October and November, as well!

As a side note, thank you to everyone who reads my writing. It truly humbles me that people choose to read what I write, especially when we have access to endless reading possibilities on the internet.

---

What Links I’m Loving

When we moved across the country, the majority of my makeup got packed with all of our household goods and sat in non-climate controlled storage for 6+ weeks—which means, my makeup sat in a random cardboard box in a warehouse that probably topped 90* most days. Let’s just say my makeup arrived in less than stellar condition, and I’ve been on the hunt for some new makeup. However, I am a little wary of makeup these days—I have little to no time to put it on, my skin is pretty sensitive, and more importantly, I don’t want my daughter seeing me cake on makeup, trying to significantly alter my appearance, and wonder if she needs to do that, too. I know she’s only 3, but our children absorb way more than we give them credit for. But the dark circles under my eyes are A Whole Thing, and need a little TLC. Anyway, Ashlee Gadd (one of my favorite writers) recently shared her makeup routine, which seemed very minimal, to the point where you couldn’t really tell she was wearing it, and it supposedly takes less than 5 minutes to apply. I ordered a few items and let me tell you, I’m sold. So far I haven’t had any breakouts, it takes me less than 3 minutes to freshen my face, and it’s so minimal you can barely time I’m wearing any.

The OCD in me loves a good organizer, so when I stumbled across these water bottle organizers, I immediately had to order. I ended up buying two to hold the majority of our water bottles and it’s totally worth it. Even my husband commented how much nicer our water bottle shelf is (big win).

I love decorating for the holidays, but I hate packing and storing it. This issue is magnified because we move every few years and each house has varying levels of storage. For example, in our current house, we aren’t allowed to store things in the attic nor do we have a basement. This interchangeable wreath was just what our door to our garage needed. I love that I can update it for every holiday/season, and it all fits perfectly in one little box. Speaking of wreaths, I recently upped my front door décor by getting rid of the majority of my wreaths (most of which were pretty shabby-looking) and had my cousin make some wooden signs for my door—I had her make two wooden signs, each side with a different season on it to maximize its use (and to save on storage space)! They are beautiful and I’m so happy with how they turned out. If you’re looking for custom, handmade décor, but sure to check her Instagram page out!

If you live in a house with stairs, this stair basket is a game-changer! We live in a two-story house now, so I’m constantly setting things on the stairs to take up or down. Instead of risking my life trying to step over all the stuff piled on the stairs, I just toss it in this basket and carry it up when it’s full! My sister recently visited and saw it, and immediately ordered two for her house.

**I don’t get any kickbacks or perks from these links. I’m just sharing what has helped me lately, and thought you might want to know, too!

---

What I’m (Kind Of) Cooking

Whenever someone is in need of a meal, or a meal train opportunity pops up, this is my go-to recipe. It’s tried and true, full of comfort, freezer-friendly, and kid-approved. And the best part? You can make the meal in the pan you’re going to deliver/cook it in! Less dishes are always a win.

Helpful Habit: if you’re making a meal for someone, use a foil pan, not one of your own. That way you don’t have to track down a beloved pan, and the person you’re cooking for doesn’t have to try to remember who’s pan is who’s.

Another Helpful Habit: when making this dish, double or triple it so you have dinner for your own family, plus an additional one to freeze.

This recipe is so easy, I made 6 trays of this dish in under an hour!

3 Cheese Pasta Bake

Ingredients:

• 1 box of penne (or any other short noodle)

• 28oz can of crushed tomatoes

• 8oz ricotta cheese

• 4 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese (2 cups in the sauce, 2 cups to sprinkle on top)

• 0.5 cup of parmesan cheese

• 1 tbsp basil

• 1 tbsp oregano

• 1 tsp minced garlic

• 1 tsp salt

• pepper to taste

Directions:

• boil the noodles

• literally dump all the other ingredients in a 9x13 baking dish, except 2 cups of the shredded mozzarella cheese

• stir/mix all ingredients well in the pan, until smooth

• drain noodles, and pour into pan

• toss noodles to evenly coat with the sauce

• sprinkle remaining 2 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese on top

• bake at 375* uncovered for 25-35 minutes

• can stay in the fridge for up to 2 days prior to cooking, or freeze

• if frozen, defrost the night before prior to cooking

  ---

Let’s Connect!

Thanks for reading my newsletter! Feel free to forward this email along to anyone who might enjoy it. My hope is to encourage you in your everyday faith and to share the joys and trials of life and motherhood. We’re all in this together.

—Kristin