Keeping In Step--Spiritual Accountability.
November 2024 Newsletter
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Galatians 5:25 NIV (emphasis added)
Thoughts to Ponder
Every Thursday morning, I go on a walk with a friend. We load my kids up in the stroller and wander the walking paths through our military base. Sometimes we end up at Starbucks; we always end up at at least two playgrounds. If the weather isn’t cooperating, my friend comes over for a few hours and we chat over coffee, with Daniel Tiger playing in the background to help keep my toddler entertained.
When we walk together, we joke that we have our “sides” now—me on the left, pushing the stroller, my friend on the right, usually holding her water bottle. We walk in step, keeping each other on pace even when we start-and-stop approximately 47 times to corral my toddler, adjust the baby’s sock, or dig out a snack cup.
While we walk, we talk—about anything and everything. We catch up, swap stories, share our frustrations, encourage one another, and most importantly, keep each other in check.
We lay our hearts out on the walking path, sharing in our similar-but-different struggles, both of us open to encouragement and feedback on whatever we’re facing. We vent our frustrations, but we take it a step further and put our pride aside and figuratively ask, “can you heart-check me?”
We want to care for our families and community well. We want to serve the Lord in all we do. But it’s really hard to do that sometimes when we’re pulled in a million different directions, when relationships are strained, or when tense conversations come out of nowhere. Or maybe it’s just another chaotic day where the oven is dinging and the dog is barking and the toddler needs help in the bathroom and the baby is crying and your husband is running late from work and you just realized the laundry has been sitting in the washer for two days, yet you can’t remember when you last washed your hair, but all you really want to do is pull out your hair. Or is that just me? In those moments, it’s easy to spiral out of control and lash out at those closest to us, or to take out our frustrations on the next person who just so happens to cross our path.
We want to feel justified in our reaction, to feel validation in our anger or frustration. But we want to know how to handle sticky situations and tough conversations.
Who, or what, are we turning to for spiritual advice, encouragement, and accountability?
You can find approximately one-million opinions and pieces of advice on the internet—some of which are good, some are great, some are ridiculous, and some are downright terrifying. How on earth can we sift through all the noise?
Having someone, or even better, multiple someones, be able to give you advice through a heavenly-lens is priceless. We each need someone to help us keep in step with the way we are going; it’s easy to side-step or take a mis-step if we don’t have another sister or brother in Christ walking alongside us. We are called to run a heavenly race, not an earthly race, and we need to surround ourselves closely with those who are running the same course.
We weren’t made to live out our faith alone.
We were made to live in friendship and community—not only to encourage one another, but also to keep each other accountable.
We all need someone, or multiple someones, to heart-check us—to keep us in step with the way the Lord has called us to live—to live a life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). I love the idea of the fruit of the Spirit, but it sure is hard to live them out sometimes.
We need spiritual accountability. When life throws you a curveball or the daily grind becomes overwhelming, who do you call? Do you have people in your life who not only encourage you, but challenge you to pick up your cross and follow the Lord in every area of your life?
Look at your call log or your text messages. Who are the top 5 most-contacted people? Do those people actively encourage your faith, or are they indifferent to your spiritual walk, or do they negatively influence you (even if unintentionally)?
To have spiritual accountability, we need to have close friends or family who are actively encouraging us in our faith journey. I’m talking deep-conversations, wrestling through tough situations, and providing sound, Biblical advice when needed. We need to be heart-checked, which sometimes looks like encouragement and validation, and other times, requires a humble heart to receive feedback that is sometimes hard to hear, but will be beneficial in the long run.
If you don’t have someone like that in your life, it’s okay—I didn’t at first either—but having faith-filled friends (yes, that’s plural, I truly believe we need to have more than one faith-filled friend) has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. I encourage you to prioritize making friends with other Christians who are also looking for deeper friendship.
Not sure where to start? Read the next section for some practical ways to find faith-filled friends and for other spiritual accountability resources!
Bonus: Keeping-In-Step Resources!
I’m a big fan of practicality—I know it’s easy to say to find a friend, be vulnerable, and have spiritual accountability—but how do we actually put it into practice? We are already so busy trying to do all things, how do we carve out time for spiritual accountability, especially during the holiday season?
I would argue that it’s even more important during the holiday season to find spiritual accountability. The holidays can be beautiful and magical and tons of fun, but they also can be full of tense conversations, strained relationships, and moments of high frustration.
In an effort to help curb some of the holiday stress, I created two new free resources—and as an email subscriber, you’re the first to see it!
5 Habits to Avoid Holiday Headaches
5 Habits to Have a Happy Holiday Season
In addition to these resources, here are a few social media accounts that I personally find encouraging, Biblically-accurate, and helpful in my spiritual walk. We are what consume (literally and figuratively), and I think it’s important to fill our scroll with encouragement instead of doom and gloom or pointless videos of cats wearing sweaters (not that there’s anything inherently wrong with cats wearing sweaters. My dog wears a jacket when it’s cold. But that content doesn’t exactly fuel my faith or provide daily encouragement that sustains me).
Jennifer Dukes Lee—Rachael Adams—Rebecca George—Samantha Decker—A Joyful Milspouse—Keri Eichberger—Katie Blackburn—Ashlee Gadd—Lauren Vander Linden—Meghan Ryan Asbury
And here’s a little homework, a challenge, if you will—make a list of people you can be spiritually accountable with. If the list only includes your spouse, or only one other person, that’s okay! But I do think it’s important to have faith-filled friendships, and seeking those out is important. If your list is short, consider joining a Bible study at your church, or start serving at your church. There tends to be a lot of social gatherings at churches during the holidays, along with a lot of ways to serve, so there are typically plenty of opportunities to get connected. It’s a great way to meet like-minded Christians that you can hopefully grow closer with.
What I’m Reading
I read The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes for book club. This is the first book in a 5-book series. I was a bit skeptical at first, but quickly became hooked… So much so that I bought the rest of the books in the series! It’s been awhile that I just could not put a book/series down, so I have fully jumped on the bandwagon. I just started the third one this week. I anticipate I’ll finish the rest of the books before Christmas.
I like to read a Christmas-y/holiday book every December, so I’ll be starting One Day in December by Josie Silver soon! I’ve heard great things about this book so I’m eager to see if it lives up to the hype.
For Advent, I’m doing these two studies—one with my Bible study, and the other on my own.
Joy to the World Advent Study by Lifeway Women
Just As He Promised Advent Study by Daily Grace Co
What I’m Writing
I’ve had a few essays and articles published recently! You can check them out here:
Motherhood Changes a Mother and Daughter Forever — published by Her View From Home
Small Steps Lead to Victory — published by The Love Offering
A Grandma Who Chooses to be Involved Makes All the Difference — published by Her View From Home
Making New Friends as a Mom is Really Hard — published by Her View From Home
Red Light, Green Light — published by Coffee + Crumbs
I also shared about Why I Couldn’t Write this summer.
Interested in reading previous newsletters? You can check out the archive here.
As a side note, thank you to everyone who reads my writing. It truly humbles me that people choose to read what I write, especially when we have access to endless reading possibilities on the internet.
What Links I’m Loving
In the spirit of being festive, I decided we needed to decorate the outside of our house this year. Seeing Christmas through my three-year-old’s eyes is such a joy, and I knew she would love it if we decorated our house. However, despite my desire to decorate our house, I didn’t want to acquire tons of complicated lights, blow up decor, or anything that would drive my husband nuts trying to install. I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of these indoor snowflake lights for our windows. They are all on automatic timers, are battery-operated (so no running of extension cords or taking up coveted plug space), and most importantly, took me very little time to hang from each of our first floor windows! I also brought back light-up-Rosie (aka, a light-up white dog that resembles our real dog, Rosie, who is a Maltese), much to my husband’s dismay. I am happy to report though, this new version of light-up-Rosie is much more sturdy than a previous version; her head has yet to fall off and roll down the street (yes, that really happened).
After living in the south for the better part of 10 years, I have lost the majority of my northern blood, and therefore, my tolerance for cold. I refuse to not wear leggings, because #momlife (are hashtags still a thing?), so I have been on the hunt for fleece-lined leggings. I am happy to report that these leggings withstand the cold and wind!
With winter weather in full swing, my poor feet and heels are taking a beating with the dry weather. This cream has been amazing at fixing up my dry and cracked heels!
**I don’t get any kickbacks or perks from these links. I’m just sharing what has helped me lately, and thought you might want to know, too!
What I’m (Kind Of) Cooking
Does anyone else feel like there are approximately 372 parties between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day? Just me? I feel like every time I turn around there’s another potluck, luncheon, preschool party, work party, Friendsgiving, cookie exchange… So much so, that I think I have whiplash.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being invited to parties, especially if said party has good food. But the thought of spreading festive cheer by making an edible, shareable, doesn’t-spill-easily-in-the-car, reheats-well-or-somehow-stays-warm, will-I-ever-get-my-container-back side dish or dessert just exhausts me. And that doesn’t even touch on the fact that the recipe should be holiday-themed and look delectable. Real talk: I’m barely considered presentable these days, considering I am rocking my fleece-lined leggings 99% of the time and my hair is in a constant messy bun.
So what’s a busy, tired mom to do?
Helpful Habit: Find your go-to recipes in each category—appetizer, side, and dessert. Unless you’re the one hosting (which if you are, bless you), you are rarely asked to bring the main dish. Make these your recipes tried-and-true, where you’re confident they turn out consistently and don’t require much thought. Need suggestions? Check out my previous newsletters here, where I’ve shared quite a few recipes.
Another Helpful Habit: Depending on the volume of parties/events, always buy double of the ingredients. That way if you get the last-minute invite, or forgot about your husband’s work potluck (oops), you’ve got the ingredients on standby and you’re able to avoid the mad-dash to the grocery store with your children likely in tow.
The Biggest Helpful Habit: Make this dessert recipe a go-to. Seriously. It’s easy, cheap, delicious, and presentable, especially for the holiday season.
Hot Cocoa Dip
**This dip is not hot. The name of it is purely based on what it tastes like. I know, it doesn’t make sense, so you’ll have to make it so you can understand what I’m saying. It also makes a great conversation starting point, especially if you’re a bit like me and struggle with breaking the ice or not knowing what to do with your hands (another helpful habit: bring a water bottle. I have what I lovingly call my emotional support water bottle and I literally take it everywhere).
Ingredients:
8oz cream cheese
8oz cool whip
2-3 packets of Swiss Miss hot chocolate (I usually use 3)
Box of Vanilla Wafers or Graham Crackers
Optional Toppings: chocolate chips, marshmallows, peppermint baking chips, or crushed candy cane
Directions:
Mix the cream cheese and cool whip well with a hand mixer. Mix in hot chocolate packets until smooth.
Sprinkle optional toppings on top.
Serve with Vanilla Wafers and/or Graham Crackers
Store in an air-tight container in the fridge for up to 7 days, but trust me when I say it won’t last that long.
Be the hit of the party and enjoy everyone’s shocked reaction with how good it is.
Let’s Connect!
Thanks for reading my newsletter! Feel free to forward this email along to anyone who might enjoy it. My hope is to encourage you in your everyday faith and to share the joys and trials of life and motherhood. We’re all in this together.
—Kristin