The Tension of Giving Thanks.
November 2023 Newsletter
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18a
Thoughts to Ponder // Life Update
I have a pretty big life update for all of you: I’m pregnant with our second baby! :)
To answer the usual questions….
My due date is mid-March 2024. Hannah, our 2.5 year old daughter, is VERY excited to be a “big sis” and to “play with the baby.” So far she loves sharing stickers with the baby (by sticking them to my belly, haha!), so hopefully the sharing will continue once the baby’s actually here. ;) We aren’t finding out the gender until delivery—we were surprised with Hannah’s birth, too, and truly enjoy waiting for one of life’s last great surprises. :) We don’t have names picked yet, but we’ve started to narrow the list down!
We are so excited for this little life we’ve been blessed with, but this blessing doesn’t come without trials. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum early on in my pregnancy, making each day a challenge. While it may sound like a fancy spell from Harry Potter, it doesn’t produce anything magical—it’s severe nausea and vomiting of pregnancy, which results in weight loss, debilitating nausea and vomiting, fatigue, the need for prescription medications, IV fluids, and so, so much help.
I had hyperemesis with my first pregnancy, so unfortunately this isn’t a new experience for me. I’m so thankful to be pregnant again and to give Hannah a sibling, but if I’m brutally honest, it’s hard to throw up my hands in praise when I’m vomiting toast again. After a long night of little sleep due to unrelenting nausea (the nausea wakes me multiple times per night), it’s hard to smile when strangers see my growing belly and exclaim how wonderful pregnancy is. Pregnancy is wonderful, but it is also hard.
I struggle with an inner tension of being grateful when the season I’m in is also so physically challenging. And the physical challenges spill over and become mental ones. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve literally cried out to God, physically on my knees, tears streaming down my face, as I retch over and over into the toilet: Lord, make it stop. Please, make it stop.
It’s hard when it feels like your prayers aren’t being answered. It’s hard when you know you should be overflowing with thankfulness, yet there are significant moments of struggle to feel it. It’s hard when everyone around you tells you how exciting this time is, but sometimes it’s hard to match their enthusiasm.
It’s hard to talk about the tension of giving thanks during difficult circumstances. It’s uncomfortable. It feels shameful. It feels selfish and ungrateful, especially knowing how many women desperately want to start a family and struggle to do so.
But I think the tension of giving thanks is something a lot of us struggle with, no matter what the actual challenge is. Maybe it’s knowing to be grateful for the job you have, even if it’s stressful work. Maybe it’s difficult to be thankful in all the exhausting moments of motherhood, especially after a trying day of potty training or sleepless nights. Perhaps it’s hard to give thanks for the house you live in or the car you drive when you see others upgrading to bigger, fancier ones.
When we feel the tension of giving thanks during hard seasons, we have to remember that we have a choice with how we respond to that tension. Do we choose to name the blessings amidst the trial, or do we let bitterness and resentment control our attitudes and hearts?
I’m 23 weeks at the time I’m writing this: I’m still on multiple-times-per-day prescription medication, receiving weekly IV fluids, and have nausea literally all day and night. But thankfully, I am only throwing up a few times per week now instead of daily/multiple times per day, and I don’t take this small reprieve for granted. I’m also finally gaining weight, much to my OB’s excitement.
I don’t know why hyperemesis has to be part of my pregnancy journey. As my OB gently put it at a previous appointment, “Kristin, your body just doesn’t enjoy pregnancy.” It’s hard to celebrate when feeling so sick all of the time, especially when the societal expectation is to be jumping for joy during this season.
But we are called to be thankful in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18)'; not just the circumstances where we feel well or when things are easy and going our way. We’re supposed to give thanks in good times, bad times, mundane times, great times, and horrible times.
And yes, that means giving thanks when I’m throwing up.
Perhaps you’re also in a difficult season and struggle to give thanks right now. The challenges we face today doesn’t negate all of the other blessings the Lord has given us, and no matter the circumstance, we can always find one thing to be thankful for.
And if we take a moment to look around, we can find the Lord within the midst of pain, trouble, and hard times. He is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18). He meets us in our suffering. He still provides for us during challenging times, and I think making a gratitude list helps remind us of that.
Here is my gratitude list, despite hyperemesis: I am beyond grateful for my OB who jumped to action immediately by prescribing medication and getting me set up for weekly IV fluids. I’m so thankful for my husband who works hard all day and then comes home to immediately take over caring for Hannah so I can rest (I’m also grateful that you let our old dog out in the middle of the night so I don’t have to, and also, sorry that our 11-year-old dog has to pee in the middle of the night now). I’m so thankful for our babysitter, who’s schedule perfectly lines up to watch Hannah so I can get my IV fluids—this was truly a divine answer to prayer, as three of our other babysitters had recently taken full-time jobs when I found out I was pregnant. I’m so grateful for my mom’s ability to visit us on a regular basis so she can help out with Hannah (mom, you are a rockstar for visiting so often and helping. I don’t know what I would be doing otherwise). I’m thankful that in the early days of pregnancy, the unrelenting nausea was reminding me that the baby was still growing, until I could finally feel sweet little baby kicks of reassurance.
Blessings are abundant. We just need to look up and see them—and also take it a step further by naming them and giving thanks for them. Giving thanks amidst hardship makes the trial a little easier to bear, and creates a heart shift within us.
What I’m Reading
I love Advent season, and I love Advent devotionals. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I enjoy carving out slow moments to re-focus as to why this holiday season even exists. This year, I’m doing two Advent devotionals—one with my Bible study, and one on my own.
Unwrapping the Names of Jesus by Asheritah Ciuciu is the one I’m doing with my Bible study. I’ve read some of it as prep work to lead our discussion, and it’s such a unique Advent perspective! You can get your copy here.
For years now, I’ve been doing She Reads Truth Advent Study. She Reads Truth is one of my favorite resources to study the Bible and their Advent studies (along with their Lent studies) are always top-notch. They also have Advent studies for men, children, and the family, and you can check it all out here.
What I’m Writing
I’m still slowly chipping away at my manuscript, and am also updating my book proposal. I follow up with the publisher soon, which is exciting and nerve-wracking. Please pray for the conversation to be fruitful and most importantly, according to God’s will and timing.
Recipes I’m Making For The Holidays
One of my favorite holiday recipes is super simple, which makes it even better. I originally found this recipe on Pinterest years ago and have been making it ever since. It’s always a hit at parties—double it if you’re bringing it somewhere, because it goes fast!
Disclaimer: This dip is not actually a hot dip, but is called hot cocoa dip because of the ingredients.
Hot Cocoa Dip
Ingredients:
2 packets of hot chocolate mix (I prefer Swiss Miss)
8oz cream cheese, softened
8oz cool whip
Optional Toppings: chocolate chips, crushed candy cane, marshmallows
Box of Graham Crackers or Vanilla Wafers
Directions:
Using a hand mixer, mix the cream cheese and cool whip until smooth. Mix in hot chocolate packets until well combined. Add your toppings. Store in air tight container in the fridge. Serve with graham crackers or vanilla wafers.
Let’s Connect!
Thanks for reading my newsletter! Feel free to forward this email along to anyone who might enjoy it. My hope is to encourage you in your everyday faith and to share the joys and trials of life and motherhood. We’re all in this together.
—Kristin